I realize this isn’t the type of movie you normally find out here so I hope no one is alarmed but I do actually watch a lot of mainstream stuff, I just don’t normally write about them because most other people are and they do much better work than I do. I think we can all agree that I’ve set the bar pretty fucking low for future generations of people who want to do some movie writn’ but I keep at it anyway. I’ve been unusually busy at work lately so I haven’t had much time to do some shitty movie watching – it took me three days to get through this and almost a week to finish SCARFACE. Oh well, it is what it is and we do what we must, right? “Forever Vigilant” that’s my motto and when I croak will someone please engrave “HE TRIED” on my head stone?? Anyway, I watched for the dozenth time recently and I still like the fuck out of it but what can I say that hasn’t already been said??
Nothing, probably. I thought all of the acting in this was absolutely excellent and the sets and the costumes and the action and the revenge and the music and the telephones and the automobiles and the guns and everything were really good. I even liked the part about the poached egg. The only thing I don’t like? The end. Not the end-end but that part in the beach house. I wish that would have gone a different way. I also wish that I didn’t have a cold and that Parks and Recreation wasn’t getting worse each season. I also wish that TRUE DETECTIVE never ended and that they didn’t cancel CARNIVALE after two seasons and that I could eat ice cream without having to take FOUR lactose pills.
Further, I wish that I had never seen that live footage of Queen playing Stone Cold Crazy when Freddie Mercury’s ball popped out of his short shorts and that I wasn’t allergic to anything that pollinates and that I didn’t have to blow my nose 1000 times a day. I also wish that my eyes weren’t going bad and that my knees didn’t hurt all of the time and that the Brewers would win a playoff game and people who stick Oklahoma State Posse stickers on their rear windshields would quit almost causing wrecks and just give up on driving for fucking ever already get off the fucking roads!!!!! I also wish that I hadn’t watched THE KILLING GAMES and that there wasn’t a snake in my house on Easter morning and that every fucking Tuesday the deli in the building I work in didn’t ONLY offer up greasy fucking tacos for “Taco Tuesday” and that meatloaf was outlawed in the United States.
Oh yeah…. the movie!!! What a dumbass I am!!! If you want to read something that goes into what this is about instead of the gibberish of a lunatic, check THIS OUT! There’s much better words to be read there. Me? I’m just a fool. And you know what, here’s a PSA for you for the week: Grapes really aren’t that filling, FYI. Orange juice, yes. Grapes, not so much.
One last thing – about this movie. There’s a part (no spoiler) where Hanks comes running in because he thinks Craig is going to kill his son. Well, Craig messed up and killed Hank’s wife and OTHER son. He comes running in the house and the not dead son is sitting in a dark room and kinds of points to the stairs with his eyes. Hanks goes running up the stairs to the bathroom while the camera stays focused on the kid. We hear him run down the hall and then stop and wail in agony seeing his dead wife and kid. It’s fucking masterfully done! I also fully wish that this last paragraph didn’t suck so bad. I’m terrible!
I HOPE EVERYONE HAS A GREAT WEEK!!
